Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
