We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
