Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
