my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize