on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
