People with herpes should wear stickers.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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