Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
