i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize