i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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