I can tuck mytits in my pants
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Randomize
