never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
organizing the empties. That sober.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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