She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
