The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize