i think my tv is drunk
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
