I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
So. Much. Porn.
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