Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
