Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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