i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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