Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
