i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
