Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
In other news, I just burned my penis
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize