i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
