Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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