Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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