I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
