Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
