I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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