And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
