Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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