peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
