Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Randomize
