i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize