I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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