I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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