So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
