what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
