dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
