Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
