this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
