doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
