wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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