just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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