Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
