I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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