I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
We're too hungover to prance.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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