You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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