Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
