Duck Duck Cougar?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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