just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
