If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
These tits shall not be calmed
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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