fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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