so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
