i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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