You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
