That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
