SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
