her vagine was all disorganized.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize