oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
