What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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