So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
