At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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