Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
