so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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