i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
