Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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