we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
