a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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