Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
